I am so grateful to you, heartbreak, for breaking my tender heart. Your ache hurled me off my shoddy raft of fear into the depths of loneliness. My tender heart knew nought but to long, that relief from this most ancient loneliness could only arise from union with a soulmate. Now, even if I had found a soulmate, the fear of loneliness would have rendered the union unbearably fragile. Thank you heartbreak for annihilating my shoddy raft of fear so thoroughly that there remained nothing but loneliness, into whose deepest depths when hurled, all I breathed, ate, and drank was loneliness, till I befriended each and every creature inhabiting its depths, creatures I feared, creatures I had known, creatures I knew not could even exist. Rising from these depths, now, I stand alone (the root meaning of which is: all one), lonely at times, but without fear. Nothing of my past self remains anymore, save its ashes. And what has arisen from these ashes is a movement without a name, without a center, without a goal, totally free to wander the realms of aloneness, fueled by a silence so sacred that the most intense pains and joys of existence flow through with reverence, with nothing to impede their flow, the spontaneity of life streaming uninhibited through a heart wide open, a mind intensely alert.
I died last night.
A fire consumed
My longing for sunrise.
Now, nothing is left,
Not I, not my longing,
Not even my love.
The fire has burned
My self clean.
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